This past week I faced a few disappointments. I know I'm not alone. We've all experienced disappointment: difficult relationships, poor job evaluations or test scores, death of a loved one, health challenges, athletic loss and many others.
Living in disappointment can keep you feeling stuck and can lead to doubt, depression and discouragement. In this poor mental state it's easy to get overwhelmed by negative thoughts and emotions. This has happened to me and I’ve found myself thinking things like:
• What's wrong with me.....
• Nothing ever works out.....
• Why can't I ever do anything right.....
It’s very easy to get caught up in this cycle and continuously get down on yourself. This type of thinking is never helpful. The good news is that disappointment can be helpful. If we let it, disappointment can help clarify personal expectations and pave the way forward towards the attainment of goals.
Here are a few steps to moving past disappointment to continue on to your destination of greatness.
1. Learn from it.
God gives us lessons and opportunities to learn from your problems and disappointments. If you read the success stories of the people whom you may consider successful. You will discover that they do not wake up successful. They go through a tiring and painful process. The key is that they can cope and get success from their failures and disappointments. They learn from disappointment. They don’t dwell on the disappointment but they view it as a part of their training. A part of their journey forward to reach their goal. You will learn that they are lifelong learners of life.
2. Let it out.
Yell, scream, cry or talk it out. I personally like to run it out. BUT let it out. I’ve read that dealing with major disappointment can be no different than dealing with grief. You may really feel that you are "in mourning," even if it's over the fact that your book deal didn't work out, or that your boyfriend broke up with you instead of proposing. It's perfectly natural to feel incredibly upset and pained, so acknowledge it and accept your pain. Don't be ashamed to cry or otherwise express your feelings in a safe environment. It’s healthier to let out your emotions than suppressing them.
3. Be Grateful
While dealing with disappointment the last thing you want to hear is to be grateful. Yes, I know. But the reality is that you have a lot to be thankful for: a nice home, a great family and friends, a promising career, your health, or your favorite pet. You might be so focused on the things that you do not have that you have not had a moment to step back and feel blessed for the things that you do have. Take a moment to count your blessings. Make a list of all of the things you have to be thankful for. You'll see that there is a lot more good in your life than bad. Typically, what you have is more important that whatever disappointment you are facing.
No one wants to experience the anguish of disappointment but it is an unavoidable part of life. If we put it in perspective and accept it as an opportunity for growth we will be well on our way to being the person of greatness we are all destined to be.
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