Overcoming Panic by Sharele Hatfield

Overcoming Panic

As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to spread, many people across the world are experiencing a sense of anxiety, restlessness, and worry. These feelings, coupled with 24/7 news coverage of the spread of the disease, can lead to panic. Panic on a large scale can be devastating and make us act irrationally. For example, there are videos from across the United States of people fighting over toilet paper and bottled water. So how can we overcome a sense of panic and focus on reality instead of giving in to fear? Read on to find some tips and tricks to keep calm and focus on the good things in life. 

Take a Breath

When feelings of panic threaten to overwhelm you, pause. As difficult as it may seem to calm your racing mind, physically stop what you are doing. Take a deep breath in through your nose, then blow it out for 10 seconds. Focus on your breath, Do this for at least one minute, or however long it takes to calm your mind and reduce your heart rate. Breathing exercises such as this can help calm your panic by making you slow down and relax. Nobody can accomplish anything in a state of panic. This is the first step to overcoming your rising sense of panic. 

Count Your Blessings and Pray 

Another trick to quell your panicky feelings is to focus on what you are grateful for, and what blessings you have in your life. Do you have a great spouse, loving children, a cozy home, food in your fridge, or a furry companion? Take stock of the blessings in your life, and reframe your thinking around the situation that is causing you to feel panic. Write down what you are thankful for. Keep pictures of your loved ones close by. Spend time with your pets and the people who you love. Have someone you can call when you are feeling especially panicky. Focusing on what’s good in your life, rather than on the things making you feel panic, will do your mindset a world of good. After counting your blessings be sure to express your appreciation and thanks to our Heavenly Father for his faithfulness and mercy towards you.

Unplug 

We live in a 24/7 news cycle. There are terrible things streaming on our TVs every second of every day. Talking heads are constantly adding to the fearmongering so that news channels have enough material to keep their ratings up. On top of this, most of us are on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or other social media that pumps bad news at us with every click. Do your mental health a favor and unplug. Stop looking at the latest scary article your cousin just put up on Facebook, and stop listening to the experts on the news rattling off grim statistics. Go for a walk, read a book, play a board game. Do whatever you need to do to unplug and stop focusing on the negative digital news. 

Be Patient 

Whatever is going on in your life, or in the world, that is making you feel panic, will not last forever. Bad personal situations can be changed. Pandemics will eventually fade and life will return to normal. Know that nothing lasts forever, and with a little patience and faith, life will not always be so hard. 

By slowing down to take a breath, focusing on the good in your life and being thankful, giving yourself a chance to unplug, and having patience, you can overcome feelings of panic about whatever your current situation is! 

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Strength Thrоugh Adversity By Sharele Hatfield

Strength Thrоugh Adversity. Purроѕе In Everything.

Yоu can tell a lоt about a person of purpose bу the way he or she hаndlеѕ adversity. Yоu'vе seen it, I'm ѕurе. Sоmе сrаѕh and burn, while others ѕtumblе аnd totter and wаvеr fоr a bit, but thеn соmе bасk up stronger thаn ever bеfоrе. 

Life is nоt a battlefield, a сhеѕѕbоаrd, or a рriѕоn. Lifе iѕ mоrе likе a ѕсhооl. Wе аll undеrѕtаnd the bаѕiс concepts оf ѕсhооl and how it is built in a nаturаl рrоgrеѕѕiоn. In соllеgе, you еnrоll in a dеgrее оr certificate program in уоur field оf сhоiсе. Hоwеvеr, уоu have tо firѕt complete a core сurriсulum of gеnеrаl ѕtudiеѕ bеfоrе you can advance tо уоur mаjоr сlаѕѕеѕ. And within thе соrе сurriсulum, сеrtаin сlаѕѕеѕ rеԛuirе рrеrеԛuiѕitеѕ bеfоrе уоu can mоvе fоrwаrd. For еxаmрlе, оnе muѕt соmрlеtе Literature 101 аnd 102 bеfоrе moving on tо 200 аnd 300 lеvеl classes. If you don't раѕѕ a rеԛuirеd соurѕе, you have to take it аgаin until you gеt thе раѕѕing grаdе. 

It'ѕ the ѕаmе wау in lifе. There аrе lessons wе have tо lеаrn to mоvе fоrwаrd, and whеn wе don't learn thе necessary infоrmаtiоn, wе hаvе tо repeat the lеѕѕоn оvеr and оvеr until wе learn what wе nееd tо knоw tо mоvе fоrwаrd. And with еасh repeated сlаѕѕ the рrосеѕѕ becomes mоrе painful. 

Think аbоut this concept in light of your оwn lifе. Hаvе you ever fоund yourself in thе ѕаmе bаd position оvеr аnd оvеr аgаin? Dоеѕ it have tо dо with mоnеу рrоblеmѕ? Do yоu pay оff сrеdit cards only tо max thеm оut again and аgаin with nо еnd in ѕight? 

Or реrhарѕ уоu tеnd tо fall fоr thе "high riѕk-high gаin" рrоmiѕе. It lооkѕ ѕо good at the оutѕеt, and уеt timе and аgаin it turnѕ аgаinѕt you аnd gоеѕ ѕоuth аlmоѕt bеfоrе you know whаt hit уоu. But уоu'rе sure next timе will bе diffеrеnt. 

Thеrе iѕ a ѕtrоng роѕѕibilitу thаt a lеѕѕоn iѕ contained here thаt has not уеt bееn lеаrnеd. It probably соntаinѕ еxасtlу whаt уоu nееd tо learn tо mоvе onto thе nеxt ѕtер to achieve exactly whаt уоu wаnt. 

Whеn you lооk at lifе thiѕ wау there are no mistakes, only nесеѕѕаrу valuable lеѕѕоnѕ. Yоu саn еnjоу grеаt times, but then realize thаt whеn times аrе nоt so grеаt, уоu juѕt might be amid a рrе-rеԛuiѕitе thаt iѕ nееdеd tо tаkе уоu whеrе you wаnt tо gо.

Yоu аrе invеѕting in Life 101, thе ѕсhооl of lifе. Learn your lеѕѕоnѕ wеll, аnd gеt on dоwn thе road in уоur journey tо living a rich and fulfillеd life.

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Be the Mom You Want to Be By Erin Slutsky

I love being a mom but…

How would you finish that statement?

I love being a mom but...I get so frustrated

I love being a mom but...I’m afraid I’m going to mess it up

I love being a mom but...I don’t have what it takes

Being a mom is the world’s most important job. It’s also one of the hardest jobs.  We are raising the next generation after all  (no pressure).

We are expected to just “know” what to do. 

Our kids don’t come with an instruction manual.

We are left to try, fail, learn on our own how to be the best mom for our kids.

I mean, there are parenting books, moms groups, family and friends to go to for support but in the end, we get this one chance to “do it right.”

And what does doing it right even mean?

What kind of mom do you want to be?

The best, right? 

Well, your kids don’t want a perfect mom, they want YOU! 

So, what gets in the way of becoming the mom you want to be?

Does fear, anger and MomGuilt trip you up? 

We all struggle at times in these areas, some more than others. Wouldn’t it be great to know what triggers those feelings? How to get on top of them? How to gain confidence and enjoy being a mom?

You CAN know what causes you to feel frustrated, afraid, and guilty as a mom. 

Self-awareness is the key. Knowing why you do what you do, how you're wired, and how you see the world creates confidence, peace, and empathy. 

Here are 3 areas you can gain confidence and become the mom you want to be.

Fear

Do you wish you could wrap your kids up in bubble wrap when you send them to school?

Are you tossing and turning all night, worried about your kids' future?

Do you track your child’s every breath, every move, every word?

Our children’s world should be a safe place. It’s our job as moms to protect our kids from danger. But that’s not always possible.

I get it! 

We get bombarded with TMI on the Internet. School shootings, sickness, fake news. 

I would find myself comparing to other moms to make sure I wasn’t missing something or that I was doing it “right.”

Then I discovered what triggered my fear.

When I became more self aware of what caused these feelings of anxiety and thoughts of being out of control, I became more confident and began to parent in courage. 

My kids saw that I was doing the best I could and started to trust myself. They didn’t feel like I was overprotecting them anymore and being that “helicopter mom” that caused them to be afraid.

Ask yourself...

What am I afraid of?

Is this a real or perceived fear?

What is the worst that could happen? (And play that story out in your head).

Most of our fears and stories we tell ourselves don’t happen or come true. These questions will help you see things clearly and calm your anxious heart.

Anger 

Do you find yourself yelling at your kids all the time? 

Are you ready to lose it? 

Do your kids hide from you, afraid of you? 

Do they lie to you so you don’t get mad?

I get it! I was an angry mom, yelling at my kids to get them to do what I wanted them to do. Yelling at them because they messed up. Yelling at them as if they were to blame for my unhappiness.

Then I learned about what triggered my anger. That self awareness gave me the tools and the confidence I needed.

I started to enjoy being a mom. I let things roll off my back and gained peace in my home. My kids started to open up and trust me with what was going on. Our relationship is now based on trust and forgiveness.

Do you want to enjoy being a mom?

Ask

What do I need to “let go” of to create a sense of peace, joy and happiness in your family?

Why am I so frustrated?

Am I afraid of something?

Finding out where the anger is coming from will create empathy for yourself and your kids.

Shame/Guilt 

Do you struggle with MomGuilt? 

Are you scouring the internet for solutions, guides and formulas to make sure you are doing it “right”?

Are you looking at other moms, comparing your mothering to theirs?

Are you beating yourself up for mistakes and insecure that you have what it takes?

I get it!

I felt guilty about not knowing my daughter had ear infections until she was 3. I would yell at her for not listening to me. I didn’t know she couldn’t hear me. I would beat myself up and tell myself that I was a failure and was a bad mom.

The first thing that needs to be clear is to make sure you know the difference between guilt and shame because the solution is different. 

MomGuilt says “I did something bad.”

This is solved by apologizing and asking for forgiveness.

Shame says “I am a bad mom.”

The solution to shame is different.

Shame goes deep. Its core is negative self talk, false beliefs, and self accusations.

Shame says:

I am defective (damaged, broken, a mistake, flawed). 

I am incompetent (not good enough, inept, ineffectual, useless). 

I am bad (awful, dreadful, evil, despicable). 

I am nothing (worthless, invisible, unnoticed, empty). 

If you find yourself these stories and lies

Ask: 

What am I THINKING? (Is it true?)

What am I FEELING? 

What are my ACTIONS?

How does my BODY feel? Respond?? 

Believing what is true about yourself and the situation will create a sense of confidence and courage.

Fear, anger and shame are areas all moms struggle in. But as you become more self aware, change will be easier, more effective, and lasting.  You will have the confidence, joy, and peace you desire and become the mom you want to be. 

About the author

I’m a mom of four very different and wonderfully unique kids. And a grandmother of one adorable granddaughter! 

I’m also a nurse, an accredited Enneagram practitioner, and MOPS International mentor and coach with 20 years of experience. I understand child development and family dynamics.

Through MomSense Coaching, I highlight your strengths and share specific ways you can use your natural tendencies to become a more comfortable and confident mom.

Connect with Erin here: http://momsensecoaching.com/

Be Confident! by Sharele Hatfield

Be Confident!

One of the things I struggle with and I’m sure other women struggle with most is confidence! We put incredible pressure on ourselves and each other to be perfect. Perfect wives, perfect mothers, and perfect employees with perfect houses and perfect figures are portrayed everywhere. No wonder most women have trouble with confidence! Let’s take a look at some ways to fly in the face of the media and boost our confidence!

Embrace the Discomfort

One way to push through the negative thoughts that may be making your confidence take a nosedive is to expose yourself to something uncomfortable and push through it. No, we aren’t talking about walking through fire or something crazy like that! Uncomfortable situations like applying for a new job, asking for a raise, or trying to learn a new skill help us grow, no matter what the outcome. Acknowledging that we tried something new and scary and still survived boosts your confidence like crazy!

Beliefs are NOT Facts!

You may believe that you are not good at something, that you are not attractive, or that you aren’t a good person. These beliefs, as well as other negative beliefs that you hold about yourself are NOT facts! Reframe your thinking by developing a growth mindset. Instead of thinking “I’m not good at this”, flip your thinking to say “I’m not good at this YET”. Instead of thinking “I hate my thighs”, name something that you love about your body. Say it out loud. Write it down somewhere you can see it frequently! Remembering that your beliefs are not facts, forming a growth mindset, and combating negative thoughts are all effective things you can do to make your confidence grow by a mile!

Identify Your Barriers

What is making you not have confidence? Is it something that happened when you were a child? Was it rejection from a friend or a career opportunity? No matter what happened to kill your confidence, you must be able to identify it in order to face it. Journaling can be a great way to identify what the barriers are to your confidence. Once you have figured it out, come up with an action plan to overcome it. Talk to a friend or set a baby-step goal. Once you name your barriers and let them go, you’ll be able to accomplish anything you set your mind to!

By recognizing that you must identify your barriers, do things that make you uncomfortable, and flip your thinking to include positive self-talk, your confidence will skyrocket! Bonus tip- having an accountability buddy to keep you on track and cheer you on as you work toward your goals can be a great confidence booster for both you AND your buddy!

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Take Time to Recharge by Sharele Hatfield

Take Time to Recharge

As women, we tend to put ourselves last. We often have children, spouses, and/or aging parents to care for. Or perhaps we are the “cool aunt”, providing babysitting for a bevy of nieces or nephews. We could also be trying to break the glass ceiling at work, volunteering, and carrying the “mental load” of birthdays, chores, groceries, and everything else that goes into being a part of a family. This constant busyness can really wear someone down! Prolonged stress and lack of sleep can have serious health consequences, including mental impairments, an increased risk of certain diseases, and weakened immunity. But with everything on our plates, how can we take a time-out to recharge our batteries and reduce stress? Read on for some practical tips!

Begin Your Day Peacefully

Even if the thought of getting up any earlier makes you cringe, try it anyway. Set your alarm for 10 minutes earlier than usual, and use that time to journal, pray, read a book, or do something peaceful so that your day does not begin with a frenzy.

Get Moving!

Exercising to relax may seem counter intuitive, but the end result of more exercise will be a less-stressed you! Exercise lowers stress levels, and keeps your body healthy. Go outside, walk your dog, dance with your kids, or do whatever you love to do. You’ll find yourself less tired and stressed with more energy to get through the rest of your day!

Do Something Fun      

Having fun with your family or friends lowers stress and recharges you mentally. Fun activities don’t need to be complicated or expensive. Play a game, take a hike, or watch a funny movie. Taking an hour or two to step away from your responsibilities and connecting with others over a fun activity can recharge you mentally and physically.

Make Your Own Spa

Take a 20-minute warm bath and relax! Try a trial size of a face mask or body scrub, put some Epsom salts in the bath, or give yourself a foot scrub and pedicure. Taking a few minutes to be by yourself, relax, and pamper yourself can help you relax before bed and reduce stress, which can promote better sleep.

We all have responsibilities and stressors. The key is to figure out how to take a few minutes each day to recharge mentally and physically so that you can be at your best! Take a baby step and find something you enjoy. Schedule 20 minutes into your day to do this enjoyable activity, and go from there!

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Believe in You! by Sharele Hatfield

            When starting a new venture or going through a rough time, it can be hard to believe in yourself. Negative thoughts can overwhelm you and stop you from pushing forward and trying to make things better for yourself. However, the ability to believe in yourself and think positively can be the driving force you need to change your life for the better! Read on to find some practical tips to help you change your mindset and believe in yourself!

Visualize Your Success

            What is your goal? What does it look like? Who does it involve? What needs to happen in order for you to reach it? Take a minute, close your eyes, and visualize in your mind exactly what needs to happen in order for you to reach your goal and what it will look like when you reach it. Visualization is a powerful tool that is easy to use. When you visualize your success, you are setting up positive thoughts in your mind that make it easier for you to believe in yourself and your abilities!

Fake it Till You Make It

            We’ve all heard the expression “fake it till you make it”, but how can that help you believe in yourself? Acting with confidence, even when you’re not feeling it, can help you trick your brain into thinking that anything is possible. So act with confidence and authority, and the belief in yourself will soon follow!

Take Action

            Start by making a plan of how you want to achieve your goal. Break a large goal up into smaller steps, and begin with Step 1. By breaking up a large task into smaller, more manageable tasks, you will find yourself having success with each small task, which will boost your confidence. As you succeed with each small step and your confidence grows, your belief in yourself will become stronger!

Have a Ritual

            Use a vision board, a daily mantra, a journal, or some other type of daily ritual to positively affirm yourself. Start your day with positive thoughts, and that positivity will carry you through the day. Set the tone for your day at the very beginning so that no matter what is thrown at you, you can still have the ability to believe in yourself. 

Use visualization, acting with confidence, and setting small goals to help you believe in yourself! You are worthy of meeting your goals, and can achieve them as long as you believe in yourself!

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Developing a Winner’s Attitude by Sharele Hatfield

Attitude is defined as “a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior”. Therefore, in order to develop a winner’s attitude, you must both act and think like a winner! However, this can be easier said than done. Here are some practical tips about steps you can take to develop a winner’s attitude. 

Setting Clear Goals 

The first step to developing a winner’s attitude is to determine what your goals are. Do you want to get hired for a specific job? Do you want to finish school with a certain GPA? Or perhaps your goals are more relationship-based. Whatever you decide your goals are, the next step is to write them down in the form of SMART goals. Just what are SMART goals? Each letter in the word “smart” stands for something to add to your goal in order to make it clear and attainable. 

• S- Specific. Make your goal as specific as possible. Instead of just saying “I want to get a better job”, say “I want to get X job with X company, making at least X amount of money.”
• M- Measurable. In order to determine if you’ve met your goal, it must be measurable. 
• A- Attainable. Part of developing a winner’s attitude is celebrating small achievements, not setting the bar so high that you’re setting yourself up for failure. 
• R- Realistic. A winner’s attitude cannot be developed if you are setting goals that you’ll never achieve because they are not realistic. 
• T- Time-bound. Clear goals have a time limit! Don’t give yourself forever to achieve your goal, or you’ll never begin! Set daily, weekly, and monthly goals to keep yourself focused and improve your positive attitude! 

Show Me Your Friends

There’s an old saying that reads “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” What do you want your attitude to be like in the future? Think about this, and endeavor to surround yourself with other people who have a winner's attitude! Make friends with other people who work hard, persevere, and have a great attitude about setbacks. Decrease the amount of time you spend with people who are lazy, judgemental, and don’t support you in meeting your goals. 

You Are What You Think

People with winner’s attitudes thrive on positive self-talk! This can be accomplished through daily affirmations, a vision board, prayer, daily goal-setting, and many other things. Find what works best for you to keep feeding your brain positive thoughts and focusing on meeting your goals. 

A winner’s attitude is sometimes hard to achieve, especially if you aren’t meeting your goals or if something negative is happening in your personal life. Be willing to do whatever it takes to meet your goals, stay positive, surround yourself with positive people and self-talk, and you’ll have a winner’s attitude in no time! 

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